Archive for the 'Actresses' Category

02
Jan
10

Sherlock Holmes

“I have a request. Someone I want to see. Sherlock Holmes.”

Sherlock Holmes is, undoubtedly, one of the most, if not the, most famous detective character of literature. He’s so popular he’s spilled over into cinema and TV. From Basil Rathbone to Jeremy Brett, the world’s most famous detective has had every aspect of himself discussed and debated, from his stature to his cocaine addiction to his sexuality (he’s straight, folks). His partner, Watson, has, for some strange, inexplicable reason, always been portrayed as no more than a bumbling sidekick who happens to show up at the right time with his pistol. Indeed, one has to wonder where in the world all the traditional elements of Holmes originated, especially that ridiculous deerstalker cap (really, who else in the world do you know that has ever worn one, outside of a costume?).

Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels; Snatch) brings us a fairly faithful adaptation of Holmes. Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man, The Soloist) plays the detective, probably marking the first time an American has portrayed the markedly English character. And play it he does. One may argue as to the amount of explosives and modernity the film has been infused with. What one cannot argue with is the fact that he played the character to a T. Granted, a Holmes purist (and I don’t only mean by the books) might find complaints here and there, but such complaints would appear to only be nitpicking to the casual, even the dedicated, moviegoer. Jude Law (AI: Artificial Intelligence) ┬áportrays Holmes’ dedicated friend, Dr. Watson. I breathe a sigh of relief as I write that Law’s performance brings Watson to an equal of Holmes. Surely, he lacks Holmes weirdness and proficiency as a detective, but he isn’t the idiotic sidekick anymore. He’s Holmes’ friend.

Supporting characters include Holmes’ love interest Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), the evil Lord Blackwood (not Andy Garcia but Mark Strong), and Holmes’ reluctant colleague Inspector Lestrade (a competent performance from Eddie Marsan). The story itself is not an original work of Conan Doyle, but is based upon a Holmes’ graphic novel. Surprisingly, it works admirably well. I won’t give much away, but supernatural aspects run throughout the film. I’m glad to report that the end pays great homage to detective films and literature of old: Holmes explains his theories ala Encyclopedia Brown, revealing all to the hapless audience.

I know that the portrayal of Holmes is something long discussed. For those who really do not care, go see the movie. You’ll love it. For those who do, consider that things are always going to be reinvented. For something so superficial as a literature character, it isn’t much to let go of for a while. The film succeeds on its own, without being a Sherlock Holmes film. If it really matters that much, substitute different names.

4/5 for 2009’s Sherlock Holmes. Here’s to a Happy New Year and the hope that Brad Pitt is announced as Moriarty in the next film.

20
Dec
09

Avatar

“Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream.”

And in this quote is presented everything about my feelings for Avatar. Jake Sully (played by blockbuster newcomer Sam Worthington), a paraplegic Marine, is called in to Pandora, a planet chock full of biotic and abiotic wonders, to fill in for his brother. His brother had spent many years training in the Avatar program, a US military program designed to allow Marines and scientists to inhabit the bodies of Na’vi, the indigenous beings of Pandora. The program is used to study and interact with the Na’vi, in order to relocate them to allow the US to gain access to a copious supply of Unobtainium, a mineral that is extremely valuable for some reason. Jake “gets lost in the woods,” or “twitterpated,” falling in love with Neytiri (well portrayed by Zoe Saldana, who made her debut earlier this year in Star Trek), the daughter of the Na’vi chief. And so we see the unfolding of faith and flesh versus greed and iron.

James Cameron stays true to his reputation, bringing us a pretentious film that presents a LOT of wonders to discuss, but leaves us hanging as far as story goes. Really, a robot traveling through time in order to kill the mother of the future leader of revolution is ingenious… but why not travel back right as the boy is being born? And why not send the shapeshifting Terminator first? And why does a movie about a sinking ship need to be over an hour and a half? I’ll be sincere: Avatar is a spectacle. It really is. You know how science fiction/space movies show us completely new planets but then populate them with only one specific type of species and they all act the same (the Star Wars prequels and later episodes of Star Trek are particularly sadly guilty of this)? Yeah Avatar does nothing of that. Cameron takes the Tolkien route and completely creates a new world. The Na’vi coexist with six-legged horses, six-legged panthers, six-legged rhinoceros type beasts (yeah, they are six-legged, which would actually make sense from an evolutionary point of view), dragon-like beasts of burden, and monstrous hammer-headed leather-bodied eagle things. There’s also a nifty chameleon/dragonfly creature that flies on multi-colored whirligig wings. That aspect of the movie is certainly not lacking; Cameron really does show you a new world, as predicted.

And yet, the story feels… somewhat recycled. Is this not what Spanish conquistadors did to Aztecs? Didn’t American cowboys fight this one out with Native Indians? Is this not… what we are doing now to rainforests etc? Naturally, 14% of the earth’s surface is rainforest. We’ve cut that down to 7%. And it could be argued that what conquistadors and cowboys did to Aztecs and Indians was wrong. While these could be virtuous ideas (we are stewards), Avatar is a different beast.

Pantheistic beliefs run rampant. The Tree of Souls, the primary place of worship for the Na’vi, is linked by root systems to all the other trees, and they are sentient ala Grandmother Willow. The Na’vi chant and sing to the trees. They can even attach their tails to the trees and hear the voices of the ancestors. Neytiri even sings “Can You Paint With All the Colors of the Wind” to Jake. (Alright, well I made that one up.) But it wouldn’t be amiss. It’s the same idea. Gold is hard to get, somewhat ‘unobtainable,’ right? Yep.

Avatar does not suffer from stereotypes, as some would have you believe. And yet, its story is fairly old. So while the effects are amazing, groundbreaking, even, and the score is one of the absolute best I’ve heard in a long time, agendas, political correctness, and recycled storylines are truly present in this film. Three out of five stars.

However, I would love to see Jake descending upon that red bird one more time.

15
Nov
08

PETA and Lindsay Lohan

I’m no huge fan of Lindsay Lohan. She had a great career ahead of her, she was a cute kid actress, but she botched it all by becoming a scandalous party girl (as most girl kid actresses inevitably do). She was an alcoholic for a while, she went to rehab for drugs, her life was going down the drain, and all that fun stuff that celebrities do. (And we look up to these people?) But now, all of a sudden, she’s saved her career by claiming she’s bisexual. Ick. That’s gross. All of a sudden she’s back in the spotlight because she’s bisexual. But recently, she ran into PETA. Now, if I’m not too big a fan of Lindsay Lohan, I’m even less a fan of PETA. They have no respect whatsoever for humans. Animals are gods to them. And recently, while on her way to a Paris nightclub, Lohan was hit with a flour bomb thrown by animal rights activists. (You know they’re PETA people, why are they being protected by being called ‘animal rights activists’?) A flour bomb is merely a lot of flour thrown at someone. Now why did they throw it? Lohan was wearing a fur stole (an accessory made out of animal fur). Come on, idiots. Let people wear what they want. For thousands of years people have eaten animals and worn animal skin. The animals are still around, right? Right. So we definitely aren’t going to be the people to send all animals to extinction. Let people wear animal fur and you keep your flour and bake bread and be good vegetarians.




Quote of the Amount of Time I Want to Leave it Up Here

"I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've seen C-Beams... glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost... like tears... in rain. Time... to die." ~Roy Batty (Blade Runner)
July 2017
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