Archive for September, 2008


Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Now I chose to do the Pirates of the Caribbean films separately because each one is different. The first one is good, solid Hollywood pirate action, the second is a lame, dark, convoluted script with actors who were either tired or uninterested, and the third, while odd, is a masterpiece of both script and CGi. Allow me to explain.

“Gentlemen…I wash my hands of this weirdness.”

“Ah, so we’ll have a lovely garden party and you’re not invited.”

“Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today…TO NAIL YER GIZZARD TO THE MAST, YER POXY CUR!”

And that’s just some of the fabulous lines. I’ll admit, the whole Calypso thing was terribly unnecessary and boring, but you have to admit, the Pirate Lords bit was hilarious. Not to mention the comic timing of this movie. When the pirate lord who never speaks finally speaks and his voice is painfully high-pitched, Johnny Depp’s look of confusion and surprise is right on the money. 

Now for the themes. The biggest and most obvious is the fact that these films glorify the pirate life. While we all might fantasize about being pirates, it really isn’t a God-honoring thing to wish for. Secondly, Elizabeth’s speech and whole idea that she’s voted as the ‘Pirate King’ seems to encourage feminism. 

Despite the film’s flaws (and they are many, I gladly admit) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is an exciting romp, even though, to follow anything story-wise, you must first watch the lackluster Dead Man’s Chest. All in all, 7 out of 10 stars for the third film in a pirate series that attempts to be epic.

Next review: The Sting (in honor of Paul Newman)


The Bourne Ultimatum

This one took a while, and I actually have a legitimate excuse: I am swamped with homework. This is my senior year and I’m taking a good deal of classes. So I’ve barely had the time to post. But anyway, now I’ll talk about The Bourne Ultimatum, which is a fantastic movie.

I’ll admit, the first half of it is relatively, well, to put it bluntly, boring. The first time I tried to watch it I fell asleep. (It didn’t help that the only other Bourne film I’d seen was Supremacy; thanks, Kyle) so I had a relatively difficult time keeping up with the flashbacks and backstory. (I still haven’t seen Identity, by the way.) But I’m glad I gave this film another chance. It just got better and better. Matt Damon did an excellent job as Jason Bourne, portraying him as a killer who wished he didn’t have to kill. There are several awesome scenes, such as the “Where are you?” “…In my office.” “I doubt that.” “Why?” “Because if you were, we’d be having this conversation face to face.” Just excellent dialogue. But, as we inevitably do, let’s talk about the themes.

This movie definitely has a redemptive story, but I don’t know that I would call Bourne a Christ-figure. He certainly redeems himself, but he doesn’t sacrifice himself. I know this is a short analysis, but I think it’s safe to say that there are no Christian themes in this movie.

This film definitely deserves it’s PG-13 rating, with violence and swearing. A couple uses of G-d. All in all, I give this film an 8/10.

Next review: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.


Coming Soon: Eagle Eye

I can not wait for this movie! It looks awesome. Here’s the trailer.


The Matrix

This film has been called “the benchmark for all science fiction films to come.” Well…I agree…somewhat. The effects of the The Matrix should be the benchmark for all effects to come. The story…no. I’ll be honest. I hated this film. Utterly hated it. The story was terrible. The idea, while clever, was poorly executed. There are too many things not explained. For example, during the chase at the end, when the Agents are chasing Neo, people everywhere are being taken over by the Agents. No one notices this? Why does life just go on? Another example: how does Cypher, the little rat-faced traitor, manage to get into The Matrix and talk to Smith, but no one notices? How does Morpheus not notice what Cypher is doing? And the acting was definitely not top-notch. Keanu Reeves was downright bad. He wasn’t just not very good; he was bad. He can’t act in this movie. He tries to make his voice sound too…husky. Too masculine. Really the only good acting in this movie came from Hugo Weaving, as Agent Smith.

Enough of me telling you how much I hated this movie though. I’ll talk about the themes. First off, where’d the name Trinity come from? Why’d they name her Trinity? Something to think about there. This is one of those kinds of things where you think “What?” I mean, they gave her a name from the Bible, a good name, but there’s nothing about her that says she represents the Trinity. Consider that and then this: Morpheus’ ship is called the Nebuchadnezzar. Remember in the Bible that Nebuchadnezzar was the evil king that God turned into an animal until he realized that God is the supreme ruler. Nebbie (as VeggieTales charmingly shortened his name to) was bad. He was evil. So why name the good guys’ ship Nebuchadnezzar? Are they glorifying those that rebelled against God? Bu then, there’s that, and then this: the place that the good guys’ have their headquarters is called Zion. What is with this? There seem to be so many contradictions and hidden meanings in this movie but you can’t figure them out because everything is so muddled.

I’d say no one 10 or younger needs to see this movie, simply because of the many disturbing images. And the language. No movie needs that much language. There are about 20 G-d’s in the movie. More than were needed. I’d say 2 out of 10 stars, simply for the effects.

Next review: The Bourne Ultimatum

Quote of the Amount of Time I Want to Leave it Up Here

"I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've seen C-Beams... glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost... like tears... in rain. Time... to die." ~Roy Batty (Blade Runner)
September 2008
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